


In Mid Fall

by CaptainHookness (GhostOpera)



Series: Memories [4]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, M/M, Moving In Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 06:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4425638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostOpera/pseuds/CaptainHookness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer thinks back on when he and Aaron first moved intogether.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Mid Fall

_"The day we fear is our last, is but the birthday of eternity" - Lucius Annaeus Seneca_

 

Spencer wiped away a few tears as he finished putting some of Aaron's things into the last box, in which he marked as Fragile - of course they weren't actually fragile, but the memories were, and he didn't want to damage the memories that the objects held. He stared down at the sealed box, his eyes darting to the tear drop mark that had just appeared there. He was supposed to be reliving happy memories, but even the happiest memories still made Spencer want to go meet Aaron in the after life. He was supposed to pick Jack up in an hour from school, but he didn't think he could bring himself to do it at this very moment. He wiped his eyes again and grabbed his phone and dialled Jessica's phone number, tapping his foot as he waited for her to pick up.

 

"Hello?" answered Jessica on the other end.

 

Spencer sniffed and bit his lip, "Hey, Jessica.. If you aren't busy, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind pick-" He stopped for a moment to take a breath, "If you wouldn't mind picking up Jack today and letting him stay the day at your place until I can pull myself together. I'm packing up some of Aaron's things and I'm having a really hard time right now."

 

"Of course, Spencer," Jessica cooed, "If you need anything, or if you need Jack to spend the night, just let me know. I hope you feel better."

 

"Thanks," Spencer murmured before hanging up and letting out a broken sob. He moved into the bathroom to grab some tissue to wipe his eyes. He looked himself in the mirror; he had lost quite a bit of weight in the past few months, and he had really become a lot paler. The genius stared down at the bottle of anxiety medication and took a breath, "Not today," he whispered to himself, "Not today." Though another part of him practically screamed at him to do it and see his lover again, he knew he couldn't. Aaron was counting on him to raise Jack as if he were his own, and that's exactly what Spencer was going to do. Even if it killed him inside every day. He loved Jack, but at the same time, it still pained him to see him. Everything Jack did and the way he did it reminded him all too much of Aaron, and it killed him. He could hardly bear to see that smile, to see Jack pretend to work cases with him. Spencer took Aaron's gun from the bedside table and twisted it in his fingers, thinking back on when they first moved in together, his eyes welling with tears once again. 

 

_"Don't you think you should keep that somewhere that Jack can't reach it?" asked Spencer as he brought in the last few boxes into the bedroom, "Fuck, my back hurts." He flopped down on the floor and stretched out, cracking his back a few times._

 

_"Well, the safety is on. And I'll keep it locked." Aaron sat down next to Spencer and pushed his hair out of his eyes, staring down at Spencer's wide doe eyes, "Since it's been three days and we're finally finished getting everything in and fixed up in the living area and the kitchen, we just have to do the bedroom, and I'll tell you what, after we finish, I'll fix us both a nice hot bath in our new jacuzzi bathtub, and pour us some wine.. Then we can come back to bed and I'll make love to you.. All night." Aaron helped Spencer up and held him close, "We have the bed already done, we just need to hook up the TV and put our clothes away. It shouldn't be that hard."_

 

_Spencer whined and closed his eyes, burying his face in Aaron's chest, "I can't pass up that offer, unfortunately. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so attracted to you. You're just so damn adorable." He pushed Aaron back on the bed and straddled his waist, pulling him into a kiss._

 

_Aaron laughed and pushed Spencer up to his feet and stood up, "Come on, let's get started. The sooner we start, the sooner we finish, the sooner we can take a bath and make love."_

 

_Spencer pouted, "Fine fine, okay."_

 

 

 

Spencer leant against the wall and slid down it, letting out a pained sob, his eyes squeezing shut. Everything was taken from him. Every single person he loved had been ripped away in such horrible ways. He took a breath and tipped his head back against the wall, tears rolling down his cheeks. The genius pulled out his phone to text Jack, his hands shaking as he tapped away on the screen;

 

" **You're going to stay the night with Jessica tonight, okay, Jack? I'm having suck a rough time putting away your fathers things right now and I really need to be alone tonight. I hope you understand. I love you."**

 

Spencer had only gotten Jack his phone because of reasons like this; when he was having a bad night, or he needed to check up on him when he was away, or anything like that. It was just one of those pay-as-you-go phones, and Jack could only send texts and calls to Spencer, Jessica, and JJ (and Aaron of course) - JJ being the absolute emergency number after Jessica. After his phone rang again, Spencer took a breath before opening the message, his heart aching when he read the short 'Okay, Papa' on the screen. He stood up on shaky legs once again and made his way out into the lounge, pulling an unused candle from the bottom cupboard under the sink and setting it in the window. As he lit the candle, he felt a rush of wind move through the open window, his eyes wide as he looked around, "Aaron?" he choked out. He hugged himself before lighting the candle to set in the window, saying a quick and quiet prayer; he was asking any and every God he could think of to listen to him and answer his prayer. All he wanted was to see his lover again. That couldn't have been all too much to ask. Could it?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I do this to myself. The end is near; I'm only making two more parts. Part 5 is the last memory and part 6 is an Epilogue.


End file.
